What do you want? What do you need?
By this time I wanted to live with my mother again, having been separated from her. I wanted to return "home" although we didn't have one. I also wanted to be adopted, to have a stable home. I received neither. My blood relatives allowed me to stay with them temporarily, in exchange for state funds. I realized this too early, too early, and the pain remains.
But I get frustrated with the question because I feel that whenever I answer it, my response is taken as a suggestion instead of a direct answer. When I answer this question, there is no equivocation, no "possibly." If I say that I don't know, I don't know. If I say I need you with me, or conversely that I need space. That is it.
It drives me crazy that I have some many people who have said they cared, but ignored the basic things that I have truly needed and expressed to them. A family, to not have to call people to hear a "friend's" voice, to have an actual birthday party, etc. Since it always revolves around family and connections, things that I have been bale to obtain, the inquiries mostly just drive home the pain.
Image from: Valley, S. (2015, Aug. 5). Adoption Day! http://www.staceyvalley.com/tag/baby/